It was raining heavily yesterday, but I had no choice but to get out in it: Doctor's visit; Prescription Pickup; Phone, Cable, Internet, Insurance bills to pay. So, I was at Wal Mart, prescription in hand, walking huddled beneath the umbrella trying hard to stay dry, when my foot came down on the curbs edge. My foot twisted, and I sprawled into the street, scraping my knee-- through the jeans, no less --getting pummeled by the downpour, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was God's name as a curse word.
I hate that I don't have enough control over my mouth, and heart, that this filth so easily comes to my lips. I felt, cold, soaked, and ashamed, and asked for His forgiveness as I made my way limping and humbled to the car.
I can well imagine how I would feel if folks went around using my name that way... It would make me very angry. So I have no doubt God was not at all pleased with my poor performance yesterday. As He is Holy, beyond any human ability to discern, I can't imagine the grief and righteous anger He harbored toward me at that moment. Saying, "I'm sorry, Lord. Please forgive me," doesn't seem sufficient enough. He could snuff me out with a snap of His fingers, but He doesn't. He forgives me. And I don't deserve it.
I am thankful that God gave me Jesus as the propitiation for my sins. I know that being saved doesn't rid me of my sinful nature. And I am thankful that there is nothing I can do to buy His forgiveness. If that were possible, I could never, in a million lifetimes, pay that debt.
Thank you, Father, for Your son Jesus; my Lord, my Savior, my King, my Brother through adoption, and my Friend.
How is that possible you might ask? After all, God is an omniscient Being.
I may take things out of comtext, but if you put some seemingly unrelated scriptures together you may come to the same conclusions.
God says when we repent and come to him, he will remove our sins as far as the east is from the West, and remember them no more. Also, when an unrepentant sinner stands before the throne at the last judgement, He will say, "Depart from me...I never knew you." He does, however, know the Believer.
Since God is incapable of lying, that means, to me, that he doesn't see sin, nor does he recognize the sinner. Hence, it seems to me that if a Believer sins, God doesn't see it. You are already forgiven of it by virtue of Christ's death on the cross.
This by no means that we are given carte blanche to do as we please. God has admonished us to go and sin no more when we are forgiven. And passage after passage instructs us to strive for perfection in every thought and deed.
I grant you that my understanding of this idea may be fundamentally flawed, but it gives me comfort.
You are also right that we do not have carte blanche to do as we please. God cannot lie, and we are therefore saved without merit and cannot lose it. But the person who continues in sin, bears no fruit, shows no outward sign of being changed... that person would do well to question whether or not he truly belongs to God.
When you sent me an email guessing at my geographical location, I assumed you had visited my other blog... the one bogged down with lots of political, conservative rantings. I'm glad someone actually made it to this one though. I'm trying to balance my more temporal pursuits, i.e.; politics, culture, et al, with my real purpose, which is to grow closer to God. Sadly, this blog is less frequented, by me, than the other.