[First post of 2007]
"Her Name is Hajin"
Her name is Hajin
The compulsion that draws my eye
And every thought. Sermons notwithstanding
Prayers offered heavenward notwithstanding
The shaking of hands in greeting
The constant prayers that I sin not
In thought...
Her name is Hajin
What am I to think of singleness?
Forty-six years of singleness?
How do I continue to await the Lord’s good pleasure
While Hajin sits a mere three pews forward?
What is concentration if not the constant struggle
Of focus, and how do I concentrate
On messages
On prayers
When every other thought aloud in a room of outward prayer
Is, within her own hearing, desperate appeals to God
To guard my heart from sin?
Her name is Hajin
The impossible eventuality
Whose hand in mine, in innocent prayer, who
Perhaps overheard every appeal I made to our Lord
That I sin not
In thought ~ As He inhabits our praises...
Her name is Hajin
ELAshley
010107.010440.1
"I'm fixing a hole
Where the rain gets in
And stops my mind from wandering
Where it will go..."
Help me Father to ward my thoughts!
No revision necessary
Personal Note: In full confession...
She is perhaps 20 years my junior, and if I ever needed the prayers of my brethren in Christ it is now.
Matthew 5:28
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This constitutes ELAshley's official New Year's poem. Not the typical fare for a New Year's poem, but... this is where I am...
Sincere and honest prayers are greatly appreciated.
That you relax. The battle is over. Stand down.
And that you look for love in life, not in extremes such as churches or barrooms!
(OK, this is just me talking. I looked for love for years; it was when I quit looking that we met. Like, you can spend all day looking for a quarter on a sidewalk, then you stop and -- there's a quarter!)
Peace to yer heart this new year's day, brother.
God's will is the key. I am sure that with your relationship with Him, you will know His will. If it is something he wants you to stay away from, I think if you resist the devil he will flee and you can be victorious.
I disagree with ER in calling a church an extreme, unless it preaches anything other than the gospel.
May God grant you the desires of your heart as you trust in Him and commit your ways unto Him.
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.
Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I'll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.
Robert Robinson 1758
It's hard to respond to a deeply emotional and spiritual and in this case physical post. Words fall way short. Let me say, I know your struggle. May Father answer you in the midst of the furnace and you find what you need. Peace. b
since i have re-embarked on a Christian path I have had difficulty letting go of some old thoughts, but I have the B-girl to keep me straight (thank God).
praying that you find your God-chosen mate. that person may very well be found at your church. when it is right you will know. d.daddio's comment says it all!